I'm Sorry I Wasn't There
by kElkAs19
Summary: Kakashi has hurt himself carelessly. Sakura is sent to heal him. What will happen when she remembers something that caused her pain.


So...yeah.

I wrote this like...6 months ago?

Yup. So...Here goes...

* * *

He watched as she carefully put green-glowing hands over the deep, open cut caused by a giant shuriken, on his left arm. The cut ran across the ANBU tattoo the males in Anbu were required to have.

"It's really deep. You're gonna have to lay off any strenuous activity till I can heal everything completely." said the pink-haired nin. She shot him a glare, " And yes Kakashi, that does include battle with ninja, sparring, and exercising!"

She knew the copy-nin all too well to _not_ know he would totally disregard her warnings, as he did on many occasions. He was staring at her the whole time she tried to close the cut. He was laying on the bed in his room at his apartment, and she was kneeling at the bedside doing her healing stuff.

"What?" she questioned with the quizzical expression she found she frequented when around the copy-nin.

"Nothing!" he replied all too quickly while sheepishly rubbing the back of his head.  
'**Had I been staring at her this whole time? That's been happening alot lately...I gotta get a hold of myself**'. Kakashi thought to himself.

Somehow, his self-admonishment would prove futile, as he found himself staring at her...again.  
'**She doesn't look too well**," he thought.

"Sakura, that's enough. You should rest."

Sakura scoffed. "Kakashi. You're not like Naruto; your wounds don't _magically_ heal overnight. And if you've developed some fast-healing jutsu, I'd love to investigate and possibly learn it so we can share it with the world!"

Sakura was now smiling, no...laughing at Kakashi's now sulky expression.

"Just wanted you to get some rest. You could have continued after..."he said, still sulky.

She stroked her chin as if in a pensive state, "Hmm...sounds tempting...but I could never leave the wound open and trust that you wouldn't do something to either irritate or open it _completely_! I've seen how you sleep in hospitals; all the tossing and turning would make all my efforts go in vain." she said pointing at the already ruffled sheets of his bed.

"You know Sakura, you _could_ tie me down to the bed to limit the tossing and turning caused by the nightmares I have."

" Again, i must say your ideas are rather tempting, but I'd better stick to my shisou's instructions. Tsunade sent me over here to make sure you got the required, no...more like well-needed medical attention you so _gracefully _declined from the other medics. I even heard you went so far as to show your face to one of them!"

It wasn't long before Sakura noticed she wasn't healing Kakashi's wound all this time she was talking to him. She never usually got distracted from her work.

Kakashi rested his hand on hers and looked into her eyes,

"You _need _to rest. I really think you deserve atleast one hour of sleep before you continue. Afterall, it's close to 10 pm." he then stared at the ceiling,

"And if you don't comply, I might have to show you what this mask has kept hidden!" He was now staring at her with a mischievious sparkle in his eye as she giggled.

5 seconds...10 seconds...  
" Oh...umm...I'm sorry." said Kakashi, as he sheepishly rubbed the back of his head, just noticing that his hand was still on hers and that he had been staring at her for so long.

She quickly looked away, noticing _she_ had been staring at him the whole time.

"Umm...I think I'll take you up on that offer..."

She stood ,"I'll be getting home now."

She gave him a warming smile and walked to the bedroom door. She had to agree, she _was_ tired. Maybe doing double shifts at the hospital wasn't such a good idea, considering she had come back from a week-long mission just the day before.

He stood. "Sakura, I don't think that's a good idea."

"Oh. Don't worry Kakashi, I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning." she stated happily.

"No. I meant , you can't go home _now_. You came to my house...so it would be common courtesy to walk you home. But, as you can see...I'm in no condition to do so. Besides...what kind of sensei would I be if I let my student spend the night alone after a week of cheating death?"

He gave her the famous eye crinkle.

She yawned. "I suppose you're right. Do you have any extra blankets...and a pillow perhaps?"

"Uhh...no." he replied, "But there are extra sheets for the bed in the closet, and matching pillow cases in the top drawer.

He walked past her, "Help yourself".

She watched him as he walked into the living room, and settled into the couch.

"Kaksashi!" she called out from where she was standing.

"Yo."he replied.

"Thanks!"

Sakura changed the sheets and pillow cases, and _tried_ to make her room for the night...a little more...organized.

Never _again _would she tell Shikamaru _his_ room was a dump!

She finally gave up and settled on the edge of the bed. Kakashi's bedroom had a really nice view. Too bad the owner made it into his personal kunai and shuriken holster, filing cabinet, laundry basket, waste basket, _and _dining room!

She sighed, "One day, I'll have to get Naruto and..."

she forgot. Naruto had been dead for 3 months now; after the infamous 'last' battle with Sasuke. The ninja world had been relieved of the perpetual curse of war between the uchiha and the Senju clans. Sasuke was the last Uchiha...Naruto was the last rival.

Sakura was crying now. Each time she collected herself, and her sobs subsided, they came back...louder. She would have just let it all out, but she remembered...she wasn't at home. She couldn't let Kakashi see or hear her crying. She had to be strong. She wasn't a little girl anymore. She was 19 years old, the best med-nin in Konoha, and one of the best konoichis known. Plus...she was the Hokage's apprentice. How could someone like _ that _have a weakness?

She tried using the pillow to soften the sounds, but as she did so she started to hyperventilate. She couldn't take it. She stated cursing herself.

"How could I have been so stupid? He hated Sasuke! If I hadn't made him make that promise to me to bring Sasuke back...he wouldn't have..."

She was laying on the bed, her legs hanging off the edge, and she was now hitting the bed with faint force...

..."he would have never...never...had...started...accepted...he wouldn,t..."

"Sakura! Sakura, calm down." Kakashi came into the room and held her in his arms , with concern evident in his eye.

" Kaka...shi..." she was now speaking in broken breaths due to her hyperventilation.

"Sakura...calm down. I'm here. I won't go away. I won't leave." he said as he stroked her hair.

She tried to calm down, "I'm...I'm sorry...for every...for everything..."

"Shh...shh... It's not your fault. None of it is."  
He was still stroking her pink strands and soothing her back.  
"Shh..." he kept telling her as she nestled her head comfortably on his chest, and was soon asleep.

He pulled the covers up to her neck and put the picture she was looking at on before, on the night table. He carefully put pink strands behind her ears, and with his thumb, he gently caressed her face.

He was distracted again. He quickly pulled his hand away from her face.  
'**What are you doing, Hatake?**' he asked himself. He knew what he was doing. He had no control over it though. It all started that day. The day _he_ died. The day they both died.

He saw her crying over Naruto's body...or what was left of it anyways. She was so traumatized, that she began to deny that they were dead. It took 4 weeks of daily psychiatric treatment to get her out of the denial stage completely. It took six weeks to get her to stop crying. Tsunade thought it would help if she went on a mission. That mission started out B-Ranked...ended up S-Ranked...and almost cost Sakura her life.

His fists clenched. "I wasn't there."he stood up. "I wasn't there to potect her. How could I be so Goddamned selfish! What if it was her!" he pounded the night table. He rested both hands on the surface and held down his head...and slowly closed his eyes. Tears leaked down to the mask that covered the lower half of his face.

"What if it was her..? How...would I...live with myself?" he kneeled in front of the table. His head was now in his hands.. He was shaking his head fervently, " I can't...I won't...she'll never..."

"Kakashi...?"  
He looked up. "S-Sakura...I..."

"It's okay. I'm here. I won't go away. I won't leave." She was hugging him, and she rested her head on his back.

"Sakura...I'm sorry..that I wasn't there...to protect you..."

She squeezed him tighter, "It wassn't your fault. None of it was."

He held her arms, and held them tightly, "I promise. I won't _ever_ go away. i won't _ever_ leave. Not unless you come with me."

She smiled. " I know that, Kakashi. I know."

* * *

Yaay! Finally posted! :D

Thumbs up for Kaso-chan!

Please Review!

Even if you do nothing else...just review.

(Constructive Criticism accepted)


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